OBAMA NAMES NEW SUPREME COURT JUSTICE

Editors are pleased to note that Barack Hussein
Obama announced in a press conference earlier this
afternoon that one

MR. SHANIQUA CURTIS MARTINEZZ

Is the newest (and most booty-licious)
of the supreme court Judges. Left wing "bloggers"
and MS&M pundits are all up in a "tizzy"
over Obama's choice for MARTINEZZ
(with two "z"'s) to fill the vacant Justice position.

"Shaniqua is sure to teach all of us a thing or two
about tolerance and reconstructive surgery!"
-Arian Huffington of THE HUFFINGTON POST

Obama, during the unbearable duration of the
drivvel & melanin worship laden press conference
gave a few insignificant reasons for choosing Mr.
MARTINEZZ.

"Thank you all for polishing my shoes, one by one,
now let's get down to business. I am, today,
announcing that MR. SHANIQUA CURTIS
MARTINEZZ will be the person to fill the vacant
supreme court position. Mr. MARTINEZZ, though
once only a man, is now a woman as well as a man.
and though, he, er...uh, um she...What is it again?
um, Right! Though Shaniqua once claimed to be
a woman trapped in a man's body, he/she is now
outwardly proud of the fact that she was born
as a hermaphrodite trapped in a womans soul.
And though Shaniqua once claimed it was white,
he, er she, can now proudly proclaim her latin AND
African nationalities as a result of americas fledgling
medical technologies. She is neither a transvestite,
nor a hermaphrodite, but thank heavens, it
certainly isn't WHITE! It is neither truly human,
nor wholly extraterrestrial. But at least he's not
a capitalist pig! We were searching for a young
minority woman in a 5th world region, who was
infected with not only HIV but also swine flu. Sadly,
WAHKANUKABUHKOO-KWALIB passed away
earlier this morning, so Mr. SHANIQUA appears
to be the next best THING.......
Martinezz's approach to life is the character
equivalent of my approach to the presidency, namely,
that of be all things to everybody, unless it means
ever being rational in any way, whatsoever."

-Barack Hussein Obama

Best of luck to you SHANIQUA!

UPDATE: Sources are now asserting that Wanda
Sykes has been given the position instead.

Sorry SHANIQUA!

-THE CRACKHEAD ALMANAC